The turn of a year is marked for me by the start of school, although I haven't been in a classroom for a couple of years now. I know the bus from the Metro to work will now be packed with awkward teens, sitting uneasily, each inhabiting their own twisted sense of a niche in a bloated and fickle microcosm. I am strongly empathetic, and all of that immaturity in one place really makes me feel...well...immature.See, I'm starting to learn that parts of me are stunted. I think we all have that problem in our own special way. Certain aspects of our daily modus operandi are rooted in what Alanis Morissette has accurately pegged as our "precious illusions." (Though she is the self-proclaimed "Queen of Malapropism"...although I thought Jewel wore that crown.)
That being said, I continue to try and define...or diagram...for myself, what exactly the process of self-reflection and self-correction entails. How does one find and focus on something "wrong" with oneself without developing a negative opinion of oneself? Meshing the two, prooves particularly perilous when self loathing happens to be one's drug of choice.
I do, however, think that it is important for me to concentrate on this lesson/exploration. It has been my general practice in my life to find a mantra to match a lesson; for now that will be "build a happy life."
A mantra can be very much like a key that opens a door. When I look at that simple statement, "buld a happy life," its tennets seem sound, and I think anyone would be hard pressed to find something wrong with living life by those words. In fact, I can think of a certain grandmother who seemed to have lived by those very words.
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