It's too late at night for me to muse without devolving into unintelligible drivel, but I just wanted to express a thought: it is so hard to choose the right thing to do for yourself.
After making that choice, though, what then? Is it worth dwelling on the wrongness? Shouldn't one avoid giving undue weight to the consequences? A great teacher once taught me that, without knowing it, we are often holding a gun to our own head. Literally, a level of life-or-death pressure is imposed on ourselves: What will we do? Will we get by? Is this the end? Perform! Perform!
So, of course, it often unlocks the door to contentment when we tenderly tell ourselves, "Put the gun down, my love."
It doesn't matter if you made a wrong decision. And, apologies, to yourself or to others, are not a surrender, they are active expressions of love. No matter what you are facing, you will come out okay. You may, in fact, be okay right now.
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